let it go

Let it go, let it go…can’t hold it back anymore!  Okay seriously that song is on repeat at my house and we’ve got BOYS.  They are obsessed.  But it’s fitting…let it go.  I’ve thought about this blog topic for quite some time and I’m not sure it’s even appropriate to post.  Because this is both my professional + personal blog, I’m going for it.  All the lines were blurred a long, long time ago anyway.  My life gets mixed in with photography and my clients become my friends…plus I feel close to many of you that have followed my story.  Which is probably pretty boring in all actuality!  So.  Here it goes.  Letting it go…

Life has been hard lately.  Not peachy or perfect or even just fine…it’s been filled with mini meltdowns, from both the kids AND me.  The kicker?  There is no reason that my ‘life’ should feel anything but fabulous.  If anyone were to itemize what makes up my world it would all add up to one word.  Happy.  That must be why it’s so difficult to talk about or admit.   I have NO right to gripe because many many mommies + business owners + women in general are struggling with some serious issues right now.  Pregnancy struggles, health conditions, extended family matters, relationship problems…the works.  It somehow feels really wrong and invalid to share, but I’ve always loved the phrase ‘it’s all relative’ and I’m going to pull that card right now.  At times I think it’s this time of year or the fact that my bitty baby just turned 5 and I turned (gasp!!) 35.  But whatever is behind this funk, it’s not cool.  Maybe it’s hormones or maybe my head is just going to explode from feeling so overwhelmed.  There are changes that need to be made – taking care of myself, getting more organized, etc…but it feels virtually impossible.  After talking with dear friends, it’s really clear that I am in no way alone.  Looking at this objectively…I’m probably floating between anxiety, sleep deprivation, and going through a phase.  Whatever the combination I do know my kiddos deserve way better than this cranky mama I’ve become.  I’ve never been shy about the fact that I love + adore my husband, kids, parents, other family + friends.  They are the reason I’ve never crumbled into little pieces.

I find that I’m just getting by most days…doing what has to be done, whether that’s dressing my kids + getting them to preschool or meeting sweet families at a session + staying up to edit…but really I’d just like to sleep for a super long time!  I’m not meeting my full potential as a mom, friend or photographer.  I’ve lost my sense of humor…which just plain hurts.  That has always been my way of dealing with difficult situations or my kids’ tantrums.  Sure, you probably wouldn’t know there was anything wrong if we chatted face to face and if you see me tomorrow, I promise not to break down or cry on your shoulder!  So there it is…scary as it is to admit.  Publically I have always been protective of my feelings and in the past I’ve definitely censored my thoughts on the issue.  Maybe it’s the milestone birthday, but I’m realizing that it’s so not helpful to anyone to only share the joy…real life, however messy, should be out there too.

I’ve been extremely blessed to hear from both new + established photographers almost daily asking about mentoring, workshops or my newborn approach.  Thank you if that’s you and I’m also truly sorry.  I don’t know how to answer your questions on when my teaching materials will be ready.  If you’ve heard a response that says ‘soon, one day!’ or if I haven’t even gotten back to you yet…please be patient with me.  To be completely honest, I don’t know the ‘when’ or how to make it work without pulling extra time away from my family.  For now, that has to be good enough.  It’s just me over here – the shooting, editing, emailing, designing, ordering, mailing, book-keeping lady.  Am I alone?  Am I complaining?  NO!!!  Just explaining.  There are so many of you out there in exactly the same position…probably dealing with a million other stresses.  I’ve worked really hard to build my business and am so proud to work with truly amazing families…in no way am I trying to take away from those successes.  And again…therein lies my internal struggle.  I’m very lucky to live this life – it seems such a shame to be sad + frustrated.  I don’t want to pull away from those I love or snap at my kids for making the biggest mess imaginable (seriously with the glitter glue!!)  What I do want is to laugh with my babies, feel happy over small accomplishments, let the little things slip away, make more time for loved ones, streamline my workflow, give to others whole-heartedly and live life in the present.  I wish all of those things for you too.  and now. I’ve let it go.  let it out there for everyone to read and although it’s rather embarrassing to admit things are not amazing right now, I’m good with that.  Great, actually.  I am not perfect.  And that’s okay.

How about some pictures to lighten the mood! Andrew is five.  I’m an old lady.  Ty decided that undies are pretty cool exactly one week before his 3rd birthday and sweet Sam is 10½ months…and for sure my happy place.  When all that stuff up there rains on my parade, I just snuggle, tickle, hug + stare at him.  For now, he’s my therapy and my calm.

leah cook | lifestyle photographyleah cook | lifestyle photographyleah cook | lifestyle photography

At the risk of sounding dramatic, I haven’t known where or how to start blogging again.  There are so many sessions to choose from and I find myself obsessing + second-guessing my work or excessively worrying if my images are even good enough (wow, my true colors are really showing today…) BUT I’ve got a post cued up and ready to go of a gorgeous new baby.  Hopefully you haven’t been put off by my babble.  I’ll cut it out and get back to what this blog is (mostly) all about.  The pictures.

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:45 am

    Michele - xoxo
    i love you.
    i understand.
    i support you.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:09 am

    Jill - Oh, momma. All of that you just wrote? All of that is 100% me, too. Right down to the baby therapy. You are not alone.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:10 am

    Leonie - Leah, its as though you took the words right out of my mouth. Its so hard to juggle it all and not feel like you are giving 100% to your family. Its led me to cut back on my work hours and even though financially it will be hard, I know the stress levels will be less. Good luck, and know you are not alone. xxReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:21 am

    Kelsey - Thank you so much for your honesty. I just had my 3rd baby in March and I could copy and paste this and it would be exactly my thoughts and feelings over the last 10 months. It was so nice to read this and know Im not alone. Its so hard to find the right balance between family and work. I admire you and your work.. your images of your children are so heartfelt and beautiful.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:23 am

    Carrie Hall - I could have written this myself! I’m ready to start taking care of myself and my family, nothing is more important, the rest of it will have to wait.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:44 am

    Catherine - I have followed you for a long time. I’m a huge fan of your work and I love how you document your beautiful family. Just when I thought I couldn’t admire you any more you posted this. This is exactly how I feel right now! I have an 8 year old & an 8 month old. I never would have guessed you felt this way but it’s so good to hear that we really do all deal with this struggle of work/life balance. You’re not alone! I’m there with you from freezing up when I try to blog to that sweet baby therapy being my happy place. Good luck to you and I’m excited to continue following your personal/professional journey. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:49 am

    Emily - Leah, you plucked the words from my brain. You are not alone Mama!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 2:50 am

    Brooke - Unbelievably well written!!! It’s as though you were inside my head, so that means none of us are alone. And yet as much as I hate to know there are others going through the same craziness in their head and in their life, it makes me hopeful that together we will figure it out and that I’m not alone. You are not alone. I don’t blog because I write like I talk, and not like you’re supposed to actually write…lol
    So now I feel like we’re long lost sisters, because I was able to read that and feel like I was talking face to face with you versus reading one of these nicely put together blog articles about how my kids are going to be screwed up bc I look at my phone/ iPad too much every day (blah blah I’ve got enough to worry about) ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 2:52 am

    Silvia - You are definitely not alone and you are so brave for posting this. It’s easy to just pretend to the outside world that everything is A-ok, I know I have been doing that when I’ve really been going through the same thing.
    Oh, and you totally should not feel inadequate, your work is so inspiring.
    Hugs.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 5:19 am

    Allison - I read your post, and couldn’t help but think “oh, yes”. Three years ago I was living the life you’ve described. I was 32, just had my third boy, and my life felt out of control. I’m sure it was a mix of hormones, sleep deprivation, and the fact that we weren’t having anymore babies. Ironically, that’s when I started becoming interested in photography. 🙂 I joke with my friends that God and my iPhone pulled me out of depression by introducing me to photography.
    With all that said, I know where you are and can empathize. I know there are many, many more women today who can relate, too. I’ll pray you are able to climb from your hole and feel better than ever.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 7:01 am

    Kelli - Not alone Leah! I hope writing this was a bit of a release for you. It’s hard to juggle everything you are juggling…even if you love all the pieces you are juggling. Sending hugs and warm thoughts! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 8:07 am

    Sarah - Yes to all of this. You are absolutely not alone! I just had my third boy 4 months ago and juggling three kids, a house, a high maintenance dog AND a business is really wearing me down. I’m hoping once it starts to warm up (in a couple months- yuck) and we can get outside more that this funk will lift. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hugs to you, mama!!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 8:09 am

    Erin - You are not alone. Regardless of the circumstances, it it just hard to raise a young family. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed too. It’s hard to take time for our selves but so essential! And your work is stunning as usual.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 8:33 am

    Meghan - Thank you for having the courage to write this! You are not alone. It really is all relative! You’re gonna be okay, mama bear. Love and prayers!!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 8:37 am

    Carol - xoxo I love and appreciate you so much! We are always here for you <3ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 8:49 am

    Jenn Valluzzo - Oh Leah, bravo! I could have written this post! Just after the fall season, I found myself exactly where you are. My kids were definitely NOT getting the best of me, and even when I was spending time with them in the back of my head I was always thinking about clients, work, and how to get more. I have no answers for you except hang in there! For me, I have made the decision to not push my business right now and really focus on my family. I will still take clients, but not pursue more so hard. We are thinking of having a third child, and I just don’t think I can do that at the pace I’ve been going. BUT – the good news is that it will always be there for me. When I’m ready, on my terms, when my kids are busy with full time school, or before then if I want to hire someone. Wow – this is long. 🙂 It has been a HARD transition (especially seeing such amazing talent out there who seem to be flying to the top!), but once I finally made that decision I just felt so much better! Thanks for your honesty. Sometimes it seems so unbelievable that things are so similar for other people. But we’re all struggling to do the best for our kids. This too shall pass! xoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:01 am

    Nathaly - Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m going through the same thing and it’s hard!! I, too, feel like I should just look around and see how blessed I am, but that doesn’t make those feelings just disappear. I hope it gets better for you soon. And your work is everything I want my work to be. Hugs!!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:19 am

    Heidi - Big hugs girl-lemme tell you-baby number three is a doozy! Worth it!? You bet?! Hard? Yes! <3 I have 6 and it has not gotten harder–3 kids is like 100 as far as I am concerned-impossible to find the time somedays-you are amazing with all that you manage to do! You are so not alone!!!! <3ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:25 am

    Elaina Mortali - I can completly relate. You’ve got your hands literally full. Your doing amazing. Your work is gorgeous and I can’t wait to see more when your ready!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:26 am

    Rachel - I have been following you for a while now and your work is amazing! Don’t ever doubt that! I can also totally relate and I hate that you are going through this, but it opened my eyes to realize that you and others by the comments are going through the same thing. There are days I just feel I can’t keep up. I have 3 kids and my middle turns 5 tomorrow and I will be 36 in March so yeah I hear ya girl! It stinks! I wish you the best and just know that you are not alone!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:28 am

    Marie - I related to this on so many levels. You are so wonderful Leah. I know it’s hard but Thank you so much for sharing. It helps knowing you aren’t alone – whatever you struggles may be. xoxoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:02 am

    Steph - I completely understand and empathize. My New Years resolution was to stop giving myself such a hard time about doing it all, I’ve been reminding myself daily (sometimes hourly) that as long as I try my best to be the best mother, wife, photographer, and friend that I can be then that’s all I can do. Your blog nailed it on the head – let it go. All the best 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:09 am

    Mikki - Thank you so much Leah for posting this. I know many many of us mamas can relate and will ultimately rise from the funk when the time is right. Your boys are beautiful and I’m looking forward to checking in now and then to read your posts! <3ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:30 am

    Kelly Wilson - Yep! Right there with ya! Some days I swear I’m just going to completely give up my photography as a business, and only photograph my babies, friends, and an occasional client when I need to stretch my creativity. That way I can focus on what matters most…my family. Then I snap back to reality, I NEED those client sessions to keep my brain challenged! If my brain is not challenged, I am worthless as a wife and mother. But then again, I’m worthless as a wife and mother if I’m working too much too, sigh. So, as of 6 weeks ago I made some changes. I’m only taking 4 clients per month, max, and I’m determined to stick to it until my life feels a little more balanced. So far so good, although I have to admit that I am NOT loving all of this “free time” to clean house, lol! I would MUCH rather be shooting and editing than organizing the art cabinet, clearing out clothes my kiddos have outgrown, and we won’t even talk about my closet because it is an absolute nightmare and I’m too overwhelmed to dig into that project just yet! But slowly I’m getting there 🙂 Thanks for validating what so many of us feel, you are not alone!!!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:36 am

    Rachel Allen - Hi Leah! I know you don’t know me, but I have always admired you as a photographer and felt a kinship with you as I have 3 little boys too, my oldest and youngest being a little over 4 years apart. My photography business is much smaller scale though. I just wanted to say that I have felt all those things before too. My oldest is almost 7 now and in 1st grade, and my baby is a crazy 2 1/2 year old. The year after I had #3 though, is a complete blur. I was living in survival mode for an entire year, and felt like I was barely hanging on by a thread. I still feel that way a lot of days, but it has gotten easier as my kids have gotten a little older. I know I don’t know you and it is not my place to give unsolicited advice, but I think you need to learn to say no. Instead of leaving your email responses so open ended try saying “I have no spots/material available at this time. I would recommend contacting so and so who runs a great program.”, or something like that. I also just thing there is something about January that always makes me a little depressed, and I always end up in a much better place emotionally in the Spring. Good luck! Love your photos!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:39 am

    Rachel Allen - Oh, my 3 boys are obsessed with Frozen too. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 11:18 am

    Angela - It is all relative, and we are all related by our common struggles and experiences. 35 was the worst birthday. I expect this one(39) to be equally junk. However, I know I am not the only chick who’s felt this way, I know I won’t feel this way forever and I know I will feel better.

    That’s the thing: nothing is permanent. Hang in there, look for the chances and take them all.

    xo,
    Angela, Cora’s Aunt.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:02 pm

    Sarah - Hi Leah, just wanted you to know you’re not alone! I have a great husband, beautiful son, and a successful career, but sometimes life just seems overwhelming. All I know is that whenever I’ve felt like you do in the past, things always seem to resolve themselves one way or another. Usually without you even realizing it! Just remember – this too shall pass! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:42 pm

    Heidi - you are a brave, strong, loved girl, Leah! thanks for sharing and making us all realize no one is perfect. xoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:42 pm

    Michelle Kersey - I could have written your post word for word. With a couple number changes 😉 much love and hugs and I hope you can find yourself into a more constant happy place! (Me too!)ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:55 pm

    Amber - Love your honesty and your images. You are not alone!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 12:56 pm

    Shannon - Wow! It’s like you read my mind…I have a great life – two beautiful daughters, a terrific husband, a beautiful home, what do I have to complain about? I’m glad you spoke up – you are not alone!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 1:32 pm

    Sarah Vaughn - Oh I could have written those words. Your images are so beautiful, and your words wise. I’ve come to the same conclusions lately. I hope you get that rest you need, and know that we are all struggling with those same issues. <3ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 2:59 pm

    Ashley - You are not alone in your feelings…and you’re right about everything being relative. You *do* appreciate all the happy things in your life, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a right to feel overwhelmed or stressed or at the end of your rope or unhappy. Appreciate the big picture and all the happy little things that make it up…but remember that you’re only human and that all your feelings are valid, too. I love you, sweet friend.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 3:52 pm

    Anne - Big hugs, sweet Leah. ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 4:51 pm

    Kristin P - What a wonderful thing the community of the web brings! You are definitely not alone– these words resonate so much with me as its a lot of what I am going through as well. Thank you so much for posting this and being open, honest and real. What has blessed me over and over is knowing my kids will not remember the day to day frustrations of their mama. They are such amazing blessings of grace. They wake up new every morning and they love us no matter what! Give yourself time and it sounds like you are surrounded by an amazing support group! Your work is an inspiration and again thank you 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 5:16 pm

    Brooke - Leah, I feel like I should fist bump you. I know exactly where you’re coming from. I hit a slump in October 2012 and really haven’t been able to shake it – I’m tired, I’m frustrated and it pisses me off. I look at my dirty house and just pull the covers over my head. I enjoy my clients and their sessions, but then it feels like a chore to finish what I’ve started. I know what I need to do to keep up with business, but I’d rather get lost in a book and “forget” about it. I’ve tried medicine and while it worked for a while, but it isn’t the answer for me. A new start, a re-charge, something fantastic kick in the butt would be welcomed. But until then, here’s to getting by and trying to focus on the things that make me smile. Big hugs to you. xoxoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 6:03 pm

    Jennifer Conley - so much honesty and courage! thank you for sharing this post, and lifting some of the illusions that everything is always roses. it’s not…..not all the time. and as moms, we should always know we aren’t alone. thank you leah!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 6:12 pm

    Kassidy - Sweet Leah. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. I so appreciate it. So refreshing to just be real. Everything you wrote definitely resonated with me as well. I hope sharing everything was cathartic for you. You are awesome (even in your old age). 😉 I hope to see you soon!!! xoxoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 6:23 pm

    Sarah - Good on you,for getting it out of you’re head.
    As I read in the comments above , we are not alone. Although this doesn’t seem to help when you’re in the middle of ” it ” .
    I probably only stalk (lol) a few photographers, and what’s interesting is this perception we have of them or ourselves for that matter. We seem to think they are doing better than us in business, juggling parenting etc.
    BUT what if this is all a myth……….
    I swear I’m having a mid life crisis at the moment .
    It makes me question if ‘business’ is worth all the self doubt and time away from my babies.
    If you could ‘ let it go’ and outsource all those things you find no joy in, that might be a good thing.
    Big hugs to you xx
    All the way from AustraliaReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 6:26 pm

    Jennifer Soderberg - Thank you! Your honesty makes me feel normal. I work a full time job (in which I bring my children) I am entering my second year of my photography business, and there is still so many more hats that I wear. I feel like I neglect my family all the time. Why can’t I be like those moms on TV? It makes me sad and all I want to so is sit down under a blanket and shut the world out. Thank you for opening yourself up. It is a wonderful breath of fresh air during this uber cold, dark winter!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 7:40 pm

    Kelly Hosch - You took the words right out of my mouth! I feel exactly the same way! We are only one person doing 10 people’s jobs. I, personally, am trying to just take it one day at a time, and tackle one thing at a time…. and allowing myself to feel accomplished that I did one thing even tho there are dozens more on the list. Take a deep breathe and enjoy the crossing off! (ohhhh…. and wine helps too!)ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 7:56 pm

    Sarah - oh leah! so well said. i can totally relate. thank you for being so honest, kind and genuine. it’s so very refreshing. please please don’t be so hard on yourself. i hope you know how incredibly inspiring you are. xoxoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:24 pm

    Elizabeth pierce - Great post, Leah. Sometimes letting it all out helps too. It’s funny that we only see a small perfect piece of everyone’s lives via social media. I, too, face the same struggles as a full time working mom of two. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter that you checked everything off your to-do list (although I judge myself by that often), doing the best you can is more than enough!!ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 9:47 pm

    Rebecca bixler - Oh Leah! I’ve been following you for years now and love love your work, but have also seen (through workshops you’ve helped teach, blog posts and even an email from you once) what a sweet, caring person you are. I just had my third baby too, and some days are just so hard. My house is a dog hair/Lego/rubber band loom disaster. I alternate between feeding my kids only healthy meals to three days in a row of Mac n cheese or chicken nuggets and feel
    So guilty for every time I look at my stupid phone when I should be giving them my every ounce of my attention. I forget that I am only human, that I’m tired, that I’m nursing every two to three hours (night and day) a baby that now won’t take a bottle. It’s hard. And I suppose we all have our moments of feeling like it’s all happening at once and too fast and sometimes overwhelming. As much as I want to “enjoy them while their little” some days the tantrums are too much and well, I don’t keep it together so well. Anyway, my only point being, your post resonated with me in many ways and you wrote so eloquently. Something there is no way I could manage right now. ;). One thing is for sure-you should never, ever, ever doubt your photography. 🙂 Sending you a virtual hug.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:07 pm

    ruthie - you are an inspiration.
    you are truly and inspiration.ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 10:31 pm

    Lacey Meyers - Wow, girl… I’ve missed you. I’ve thought of you often, wondering what you’re up to and how you’re doing and now I know, and I feel awful for not reaching out sooner. I don’t want to downplay what you’re going through by saying this, but I have completely been where you are. Completely. And honestly … again, not to downplay what you’re going through … but I think SO much of it is the ages of your boys. (Not that it is there fault! 😉 ). But it is CHALLENGING … and it WILL get easier. I feel like my mood and everything has taken a 180 over the last year and so much of that is because of where my boys are at in their development. <3 I could go on and on … mostly I just want to talk to you. 🙂 So I'll be in touch, and I can't wait to see more of your work back up on your blog! xoxoReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 11:20 pm

    Kristin - I so know how you feel, and it’s o.k. to let it go – and put it out there. You don’t have to pull a card or really explain why. It is hard. Plain and simple. Do what is best for you and your family. Once you are able to let it go (which I know is the hardest part) it will all come together. Even your sense of humor 😉ReplyCancel

  • January 28, 2014 - 11:28 pm

    Jodi - Oh sweet Leah. Hugs for you. Lots of them. Thanks for being so real and for being an inspiration. <3ReplyCancel

  • January 29, 2014 - 12:22 pm

    Chief David - Chief Leah, you’re genuine. Anything less than the full expression of you equals a major void in this Universe. Give yourself 10-15 min of quiet or alone time each morning. You deserve a blocked time to yourself. Thank you for being you.ReplyCancel

  • January 29, 2014 - 9:03 pm

    Kaylyn Wilson - Leah,
    Thank you for keeping the Mama talk real! Sharing your real thoughts and feelings helps inspire all of us to take a deep breath, let go of “the guilt” and keep moving with our heads a little higher. A big boy mom high five to you!ReplyCancel

  • January 29, 2014 - 10:10 pm

    Sarah Leonard - Leah, thanks so much for posting this! I’m right there where you are, right now, in the middle of it too. I waited till my littlest was over 2 to start reaching out for help to let it go. Glad you didn’t wait so long! As they say, misery loves company, but I think in this case it’s not so much about the company IN misery as it is about knowing you’re not alone; and knowing that we’ll get through it. Thanks for your honesty… Big hug 🙂ReplyCancel

  • January 30, 2014 - 11:16 am

    kelly - leah wow, i am and have been going through every single thing you just said. all i do is wonder when it will end and how to make it all go away and get better so i have to thank you for putting it out there. it helps to know i’m not alone..trying hard but barely making it and wanting to be better. pulled in a millioon different directions. just so you know that from the outside looking in you look like someone who has got it all together (and you do) – everyone goes through these times. i can tell you are an amazing mom and the kids know it too no matter how hard you are on yourself internally. i am actually in tears right now because i feel so broken because of all the reasons listed above and it’s so comforting to know i’m not alone! sorry for being a cheese ball…i’ve just been going through some really hard times for a long time and have never been big enough to put it out there like you did. oh and that comment about your pictures? psshhh…stop it right now! your pictures are art and couldn’t be more amazing.ReplyCancel

  • February 4, 2014 - 4:21 pm

    Lauren Reynolds - I have so been right there! Hang in there, sweet Leah!ReplyCancel

  • February 10, 2014 - 2:06 pm

    Jessica Guadagno - Beautiful, natural, inspiring work!!ReplyCancel

  • March 17, 2014 - 1:25 pm

    liza - leah,

    hang in there, hope you get your mojo back soon! i know you will, you have the right things in perspective! 🙂

    lizaReplyCancel

  • May 15, 2014 - 9:19 pm

    Sandra - Leah, thank you so much for sharing this. I don’t normally respond or write comments online, but this post really hit the mark. I have been going through the same thing in 2014 and as i was reading your post i started crying. It’s exactly how i have been feeling and it was so courageous of you to write about your own feelings. It is really hard to juggle family and a business, and it can make you feel anxious, lonely, stressed and also like you’re not a good mother, etc. Hopefully things will get better for you and you won’t feel like this forever. You are certainly not alone. Good luck with everything and keep up the amazing work that you do!ReplyCancel

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